We're Teaching This
Think About This- Doug Fields
But as he grew up we began to notice that he was becoming less concerned about us watching him and he began to more closely watch us. He never said it aloud, but we knew he had moved to the phase where he was thinking, “I’m watching you Mom and Dad.”
There’s no question that parents serve as significant role models to their children. The real question is: what kind of role model are you?
Being an intentional parent forces you to consider what you’re actually teaching your children through how you live your life.
You can’t escape it—your children are stealing parts of your character and they are going to end up looking like you. You’ve heard it said:
•“She’s a chip off the old block.”
•“He’s the flip side of the same coin.”
•“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
•“Like father, like son. Like mother, like daughter.”
•“She sure lives up to the family name.”
Your life is on display and your children are always watching and learning from you—good and bad. An intentional parent understands this reality and considers the messages his/her actions are sending. They become more thoughtful about their own lifestyle and what they’re passing on to their kids.
They’re watching and learning from you…
• how you think.
• how you treat others.
• how you pray.
• how you talk about those who are hurting.
• what you do with your finances.
• how you make decisions.
• how you respond to pain.
• what, why, and how often you eat.
• what you watch on TV.
• how consumed you are with social media.
• how you prioritize.
• how you drive a car.
• when you’re happy… when you’re sad.
• how you talk about those who are less fortunate.
• how you reconcile conflict.
• where you place the value of faith conversations.
An Intentional Parent takes the time to seriously consider these and many other messages. A Quick-fix Parent simply relies on the phrase, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say” when it comes to their lifestyle. This is as weak as it is hypocritical. Not only is the clock of time always running (remember your child’s 18th birthday makes up 6,570 days, is 938 weeks, or only 216 months)… but so is the surveillance camera that’s pointed at your life—it’s “ON” 24/7. Every day you are teaching them something about how they are to live their life.
Let me be real clear—all parents make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. There never has been and there never will be parenting perfection. Intentional Parents know they will make mistakes, but they’re also willing to hold up the mirror and learn how their choices and actions are contributing to their kids.
This week, try taking one step that could make your family life better—and let your student see you do it.
Maybe for you that means...
•Making a recurring appointment to spend time with your family.
•Reading a book on parenting or family life (we recommend the Intentional Parenting Workbook by Doug and Cathy Fields).
•Asking an older, wiser parent of for advice.
•Apologizing and working on your own role in an ongoing conflict
Whatever you choose, let your kid see you taking steps to make family life better. Even if they roll their eyes in the moment, they’ll get the idea that these relationships are important to you and you’re willing to work on them. And just maybe, they’ll begin to do the same.
©2016 The reThink Group, Inc. All rights reserved.
October 9th- Your Move- Time To Get Even
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