​Nothing can bring out the crazy in you quite like family. Am I right? Deep down you know they probably aren’t plotting to make your life difficult, but some days it feels like that is exactly what they’re doing. Maybe that’s why we tend to respond to our family the same way we respond to sports or a video game—we strategize. You make a move to get what you want, but your step-brother blocks you. So, you make a different move. And so does he. It’s endless. Literally. Because unlike other relationships in our lives, the one we have with our family isn’t going anywhere. You can quit a sports team. You can leave the marching band. You can graduate and leave your classmates behind. But your family? They’ll always be your family. That’s why it’s such a big deal that we figure out how to live with them now. Thankfully, the Bible has a lot to say about how we live with and treat other people. And while it probably won’t help you figure out how to get your sister to leave the bathroom in under an hour, it can give you some real, helpful advice on how to make the best move when it comes to the people who love you and aggravate you the most—your family.

When our son was little he would always interrupt us and say, “Mom, Dad, watch me!” Then he would do something that he thought would entertain us. It could have been as simple as jumping off one stair. Honestly, it was usually something dumb that didn’t require much fine motor skill. He just wanted us to watch him and his default “get our attention line” was: “Mom, Dad, watch me. Watch this.”
But as he grew up we began to notice that he was becoming less concerned about us watching him and he began to more closely watch us. He never said it aloud, but we knew he had moved to the phase where he was thinking, “I’m watching you Mom and Dad.”
There’s no question that parents serve as significant role models to their children. The real question is: what kind of role model are you?
Being an intentional parent forces you to consider what you’re actually teaching your children through how you live your life.

You can’t escape it—your children are stealing parts of your character and they are going to end up looking like you. You’ve heard it said:

•“She’s a chip off the old block.”
•“He’s the flip side of the same coin.”
•“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
•“Like father, like son. Like mother, like daughter.”
•“She sure lives up to the family name.”

Your life is on display and your children are always watching and learning from you—good and bad. An intentional parent understands this reality and considers the messages his/her actions are sending. They become more thoughtful about their own lifestyle and what they’re passing on to their kids.

They’re watching and learning from you…
• how you think.
• how you treat others.
• how you pray.
• how you talk about those who are hurting.
• what you do with your finances.
• how you make decisions.
• how you respond to pain.
• what, why, and how often you eat.
• what you watch on TV.
• how consumed you are with social media.
• how you prioritize.
• how you drive a car.
• when you’re happy… when you’re sad.
• how you talk about those who are less fortunate.
• how you reconcile conflict.
• where you place the value of faith conversations.

​An Intentional Parent takes the time to seriously consider these and many other messages. A Quick-fix Parent simply relies on the phrase, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say” when it comes to their lifestyle. This is as weak as it is hypocritical. Not only is the clock of time always running (remember your child’s 18th birthday makes up 6,570 days, is 938 weeks, or only 216 months)… but so is the surveillance camera that’s pointed at your life—it’s “ON” 24/7. Every day you are teaching them something about how they are to live their life.
​
Let me be real clear—all parents make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. There never has been and there never will be parenting perfection. Intentional Parents know they will make mistakes, but they’re also willing to hold up the mirror and learn how their choices and actions are contributing to their kids.

Have you ever felt lonely? We’d all probably say we’ve felt that feeling more than once in our lives. And when we do feel lonely, isn’t it true that social media has a way of making things worse? It seems like some of the biggest mistakes we make online come as a result of loneliness. Why? Because when we’re lonely, looking for acceptance, and hidden behind our screens, it’s a formula for trouble. There’s something about interacting with others online that makes us forget that they’re actually people. And that definitely makes it easier to make choices that not only have the potential to hurt them, but to hurt ourselves as well. Rather than wait until we’re in the moment, why not try and prepare ourselves ahead of time to avoid something we might regret. Solomon—one of the wisest men in the Bible—gives us an idea on how we can do just that! And as we take a look at what he has to say, we’ll see that deciding to apply his filter to our choices will help us avoid decisions we’ll regret.

Take some time to re-connect! Share a high and a low from your day or the last week.
​Name some things people do on social media that they could potentially regret later.

Proverbs 14:16 English Standard Version (ESV)
16 One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil,
    but a fool is reckless and careless.

Why does loneliness often set the stage for bad social media decisions? 
In what ways does social media make it easier to see other people as objects, not human beings?
How does being careless or reckless on social media hurt other people? 
If you had a teenage son or daughter, what guidelines or boundaries would you encourage them to have on social media?
When it comes to social media, why is it important to pre-decide instead of waiting until it’s late at night and you’re by yourself? 
Name one person who can keep you accountable to what you pre-decide.

​God among us, we gather in the name of your Son to learn love for one another. Keep our feet from evil paths. Turn our minds to your wisdom and our hearts to the love revealed in your Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.

​Mark the Cross of Christ on each others foreheads as a remembrance of your baptism and say these words...

"(Name) you are a beloved Child of God."

​One of the best things about social media is that you can be involved in conversations with so many people without ever leaving the couch! Not only can you know what’s happening anytime and anywhere but you can also comment on it in a matter of seconds. That’s the thing about social media—it allows you to give your opinion whenever you want! And while that can be fun in the moment, sometimes we forget that what we say online doesn’t just stay in the moment. We forget to filter our words because we think no one will see them or they won’t be around that long. But the truth is, the Internet gives our words a larger and longer lasting audience. What we say online will be seen by more people than we know and will definitely stay online longer than we can imagine. And so, when it comes to our words—both online and off—we can’t afford to forget our filter. Easier said than done, right? The good news is that we have access to the best advice on using our words wisely in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. And as we look at his wisdom, we’ll see that when we apply the right filter to our words, they can have the power to build rather than break. 

​Take some time to re-connect! Share a high and a low from your day or the last week.
​Talk about a time when you posted something on social media that got a reaction you didn’t expect.

Why is it easy to see our words (posts, comments, etc.) on social media as less of a big deal than if we said them in person? 
What’s the most common thing you say on other people’s social media platforms that you wouldn’t want them to say on yours?
Paul said, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth.”
Why do you think what you say on social media has the potential to be an even bigger deal than what you say in real life?
Why do you think it matters to God how you treat people on social media?
Look back at the most recent things you’ve posted on social media. If someone who didn’t know you saw those posts, what would they learn about you? 
How would your social media presence improve if you decided to pause before you post? How can you remind yourself to do that?

​O God, overflowing with mercy and compassion, you lead back to yourself all those who go astray. Preserve your people in your loving care, that we may reject whatever is contrary to you and may follow all things that sustain our life in your Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.

Take some time to re-connect! Share a high and a low from your day or the last week.

What’s your favorite filter on social media? 
Define what it means for you to win on social media. What’s happening when you feel like you’re winning? 
When is social media NOT fun?

If God talked about how He sees you right now, what do you think He would say? 
Why is it difficult to believe that God sees you as His masterpiece, especially when you don’t get the responses you want on social media?
Talk about a time when social media affected the way you viewed yourself. 
What’s one thing we can do as a group to remind each other to see ourselves the way God sees us?