Session 3- Daily Life
Tech Around the Clock
On average, how much time do your children spend on an electric device on a typical weekday? How much time do you spend on an electric device?
Do you check your phone within the first hour of being awake?
What is the last thing you do before bed?
Do you sleep with your phone next to you?
4. Waking & Sleeping
We wake up before our devices do, and they “go to bed” before we do.
“[Sleep] is the way our bodies deal with the immense complexity and demands of growth of all kinds—intellectual, physical, emotion, and even spiritual. Heart, mind, soul, and strength all are nurtured while we sleep.” pg 112
“Screens also interrupt our sleep by bringing before us the constant stream of entertainment, titillation, communication, and demands of our daytime lives.”
· How has technology impacted your own sleep patterns or quality of sleep?
5. Learning & Working
We aim for “no screens before double digits” at school and at home.
“The best and richest experiences of learning, it turns out, are embodied ones. They require and build on physical experience and activity. This begins with the most basic things typical children learn in their first years of life.” pg 124
· What is the impact of technology on this statement?
6. The Good News About Boredom
We us screens for a purpose, and we use them together, rather than using them aimlessly and alone.
“The problem isn’t with our devices themselves—it’s with the way we use them. We simply have to turn off the easy fixes and make media something we use on purpose and rarely rather than aimlessly and frequently.” pg 148
· How does your family approach the idea of boredom in your homes?
7. The Deep End of the (Car) Pool
Car time is conversation time.
“We miss out on cultivating the virtue of patience, the kind of patience that can help us survive or even enjoy a long car ride.” pg 159
· What is one way you can create space for caring conversations in the car?
8. Naked and Unashamed
Spouses have one another's passwords and total access to children's devices.
“We rob the easy-everywhere world of its power to seduce us not so much by the rules we put in place as by the dependence on one another we cultivate—depending on one another to help us be our best selves, growing in wisdom and courage and serving one another in a world that wants to make us into shallow slaves of the self." pg 179
Session 2- Three Key Decisions
The Value of Family
Have you written out a family mission statement or purpose?
How much would you say your family plays in your own identity?
How often do you talk about the topics on page 45?
1. Choosing Character
Developing Wisdom and Courage together as a family.
“Family is about the forming of persons. Being a person is a gift, like life itself—we are born as human beings made in the image of God.” pg 52
· Would you agree with this statement?
· What ways do we form persons in our families?
“Wisdom is not just knowledge—mastering information about particular aspects of the world. Wisdom is understanding. It’s the kind of understanding, specifically, that guides action.” pg 53
· How would you define wisdom?
“In the most intimate setting of the household, where the deepest human work of our lives is meant to take place, technology distracts and displaces us far too often, undermining the real work of becoming persons of wisdom and courage.” pg 66
· Where do you see this in your own home?
2. Shaping Space
We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the center of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.
“Fill the center of your life together—the literal center, the heart of your home, the place where you spend the most time together— with the things that reward creativity, relationship, and engagement.” pg 71
- What is in the center of your home? Do they reward creativity, relationship, and engagement?
- What are some steps to create a space where these things happen?
3. Structuring Time
We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play and rest together.
“Once we have made the choice to give our devices a rest—once we have gotten over the crucial, core discomfort of declaring that we will not attend to them for extended periods, every single day, week, and year—we are far more likely to live with them in restful ways the rest of the time.” pg 102
- What is the reality of this work and rest rhythm from technology in your family? What do you see as the roadblocks?
Session 1: Intro
Technology is in its proper place when…
· It helps us bond with real people we have been given to love.
· It starts great conversations.
· It helps us take care of the fragile bodies we inhabit.
· It helps us acquire a skill and mastery of domains that are the glory of human culture.
· It helps us cultivate awe for the created world we are part of and responsible for stewarding.
“The proper place for technology won’t be exactly the same for every family, and it is not the same at every season of life.” pg 19
“So figuring out the proper place for technology in our particular family and stage of life requires discernment rather than a simple formula.” pg 19
· When has a device made your life easier?
· When have you become aware of the control your device has over you or your family?
“Parents know we need help.
We love the way devices make our lives easier amid the stress and busyness that fills our days. We love the way screens can, almost magically, absorb our children’s attention and give us a few moments of quiet in the car or before dinner.” pg 25
“Parents feel out of control, hopelessly overmatched by the deluge of devices.” pg 26
“The kids know we need help too.
They see how addicted their own parents are to devices.” pg 26
“[Kids] have been competing with their parents’ screens for attention their whole lives. They see their parents tethered to their laptops, trying to stay ahead of work that has spilled out of the office into evenings and weekends.” Pg 27
Technology and Parenting
Imagine how your parents may have answered this question.
Do you feel the same stress in parenting with technology?
Why or why not?
“Our homes aren’t meant to be just refueling stations, places where we and our devices rest briefly, top up our charge, and then go back to frantic activity. They are meant to be places where the very best of life happens.” Pg 29
“Nudges: small changes in the environment around us that make it easier for us to make the choices we want to make or want others to make. Nudges don’t generally make us do anything, but they make certain choices easier and more likely” Pg 33
1. Choose Character– cultivate wisdom and courage.
2. Shape Space– put development of character and creativity at the hear of our home.
3. Structure Time– build rhythms that make it possible to get to know one another, God and the world in a deeper way.
The Tech-Wise Commitments
1. We develop wisdom and courage together as a family.
2. We want to create more than we consume.
3. We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest.
4. We wake up before our devices do, and they “go to bed” before we do.
5. We aim for “no screens before double digits” at school and at home.
6. We use screens for a purpose and we use them together.
7. Car time is conversation time.
8. Spouses have one another’s passwords and total access to children’s devices.
9. We learn to sing together.
10. We show up in person for the big events of life.
We will use this space as a follow-up to our Sunday morning discussions. If you're unable to make it to one of the Sunday morning discussions we'll also post a brief summary here as well as some specific questions or activities you can do with your family.
If you would like more information on the book we are using click here to be taken to the Amazon.com page.