You ask an interesting question. One I think all of us have asked at some time. Yet, I wonder why we ask it. Is it because we want the answer to be in our favor? If we are the person who fought back we really want God to say the person who started it is more to blame!  

Or, are we asking because we know that both of us are at fault and truly wish to know who carries more of the blame so we can repent appropriately for how wrong we are?

The first way seems like we are asking God’s judgment on this to make us feel in the right, that there is no blame on me. To let me off the hook for any wrong I may have committed. After all, they started it!

The second makes me wonder why we would even ask. Whenever there is a breakdown in a relationship that leads to a fight, we both are to blame in some way. Therefore, we ought to both repent, ask forgiveness for what we have done, and seek to patch things up between ourselves. This, by the way, is what is supposed to happen during the passing of the peace in church…but that’s another question.